I'm still in Seattle on my mother's ancient computer but felt like I needed to rant a bit.
My parents know a couple that they have best friends with for the past 30 years. Lovely people...really. They're the kind of people that bring chicken soup when you're sick. I was saddened and shocked to hear that they were going to rehome their "beloved" TEN YEAR OLD cat "Timmy" because they felt like they "couldn't meet his needs" any longer. Timmy is a HUGE fluffy orange guy, who crawls into your lap the moment you arrive. I've always loved Timmy - he's a gentle, 20 pound love muffin. They're sending him to a friend's farm - whatever the hell that means. Of course, they're keeping the dog who needs to be walked, etc. I guess cleaning up a pile of poop in the litterbox has become too much for this 74 year old couple? But walking and cleaning up after the 3 year old dog is OK?
I immediately lost all respect for these people. I feel shallow for feeling that way...they've been there for my parents and I've known them since I was in University.
I guess this is EXACTLY the reason why I have trouble maintaining friendships with people who aren't "animal people." For the sake of my parents, I kept my mouth shut last night. But I'll never feel the same way about these people. I wanted to cry as I said goodbye to Timmy. He was curled into a rocking chair in the only home he's ever known. He's 10 years old.
Even as I type, I want to call them and offer to take Timmy back to Canada, but there are Canadian cats that need me.
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27 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. People will go to the ends of the earth for their dog but won't give the same to a cat. I'll never understand the logic here. I, too have had to keep my mouth shut because of relationships with the people who are not keeping a cat's best interest to heart. It's very hard and you are right, you will never see them in the same light again. I'm sorry you and Timmy have to go through this. Hugs, Deb=^..^=x5
I know exactly how you feel. The only way giving up a pet is acceptable is if it's going to someone the owner knows and trusts completely to give it as good a home as it has had. I hope your parents' friends know for sure that their cat will be well treated on the farm. But still, how do you just say "so long" to a family member of 10 years?????!!!
The saddest thing is when someone has to give up their beloved pet due to illness, or going into a nursing home, or in other difficult situations, especially if they have no one they trust to give it to. Tragic for the owner, and tragic for the pet that winds up in a shelter.
As for people who dump off cats and dogs in the country to fend for themselves - they belong in jail.
That makes me so sad and angry. Poor Timmy. It sounds like poor Timmy who I am guessing has been an indoor cat all his life is going to be booted outside on the friends farm. Stupid people, don't they understand that inside cats don't know how to survive outside. Poor baby at 10 he should be able to relax and enjoy his home and family. Sorry but they don't sound like nice people at all. In fact they sound HEARTLESS and cold. ~Alasandra
Alasandra: I guess I was being charitable by saying they are nice. You're absolutely right.
I'm hopeful that he'll be kept indoors. *sigh*
It would be nice if they would let Timmy stay inside if he wants to. We once had a (much younger) cat that had been an indoors only cat when we lived in the city, but when we moved to a rural area and she discovered there was another world to explore outside, she loved going out. But, like I said, she was young. A 10-year old cat shoudn't be forced to go outside. Especially since they really don't know the dangers that lurk outside.
Oh by some Christmas miracle Timmy could be transported to a rocking chair in a cozy house, even if it was in Canada. I don't think it would make any difference to him that he wasn't Canadian? Poor Timmy. I can only hope, as well, that he will be kept as an indoor cat. So very sad!
i would feel exactly the same way you do. poor timmy.
Its always really difficult to see people you really enjoy and respect do something you absolutely despise with all your soul and heart. You feel betrayed. Difficult position....only made more difficult by justification of "Its not you, its me" syndrome. THEY can't meet HIS needs any longer. We can't give HIM the time. HE deserves better. Its always in their minds about what is best for the cat to ease their guilt, but they know deep down they made odds of a worse life high by dumping him on someone else. Sad. I feel your pain Beth. Hope Timmy finds paradise on the farm.
What a couple of assholes.
Beth,
My heart aches for Timmy. You have my standing offer so if you decide to help Timmy immigrate to Canada, you know where to bring him.
Alison
Would your parents consider taking him ???
Bring him to Canada...not just Canadian cats need you, all cats need you !!!
I totally agree with ya'all. Another one that leaves me with a headache is the, 'He's a senior cat that we need to dump at a shelter because it would be too stressful on him to move with us.' Like it's not stressful to be dumped at a shelter.
For what it's worth.... I took in a 12 year old, front declaw that was hyperthyroid and wasn't dealing with the new baby (human) well. I have a fence that keeps the cats in so during good weather I let him in that yard. He loves it. And has caught a few mice. Although he does have the option of coming inside when ever he wants.
Poor Timmy. And I bet the dog's got his day coming too.
BeckyH
Your a better person than I am.I would have tried to explain nicely
(at first)why he should stay.
But then I would get pissed.
I hopethey rethink taking Timmy to the farm!
What a couple of jackasses!!!!! I bet he is a wonderful old cat. I wish I could have him. I have an aunt and uncle who are not quite like that - they have kept their old cats and continue to care for them - but they are similar because you can tell that the stinking DOG takes priority. The dog is allowed to run all over the house and hump everyone's leg, and the elderly cat is confined to the back room. Kitty has a nice warm space and stuff, but they feel sure she will die over the winter, so they have gone ahead and dug a hole. Seems kinda messed up to me. I would be taking kitty to the vet to see if she could live longer, and let her in the living room, put the damn dog in the back room for a while.
I have (had) a friend that got their 6 year old a kitten for Christmas, I advised against this as these people are never home, they go away almost every weekend and have never had or grown up with a cat. And they of course only want one kitten and it has to be a kitten because they want it to "grow with the family". Without of course asking my advice they wanted the smallest of the smallest kitten..
"around 5-6 weeks, the smallest we can get!" I kept adding my 2 cents, of course and they kept getting upset because it was not what they wanted to hear. I at least managed to convince them to go to a rescue (instead of getting a free kitten on Kijiji) in their area where I hope common sense will be talked in to them by an "expert". I do know the rescue would only see them on the 26th or after. But of course they had to go on the 26th, because they wanted the kitten so much and they were going away for 3 days and had to get things set up, before leaving the kitten alone while they were gone! They also have a 3.5 year old that is very rough, so I hope they did get someone to talk to them. I am so pissed though and like you said, I have lost all respect for these people. I don't know who they ended up with and don't even want to ask. The best part is when I asked the little girl what she wanted for Christmas she replied: "a hampster"! I am sick of idiots!
Poor Timmy! A 10 year old housecat going to a farm????!!!
Why not just put him on the curb with the garbage or in the Goodwill box with the unwanted clothes??
Don't feel shallow for feeling the way you do, Beth. Outrage is too kind.
I'm especially sensitive on this one since Timmy sounds exactly like my Tom, and I'd defend Tom against any idiots with my last breath.
Anonymous: You know I asked them the first thing! Unfortunately, they have a little dog that hates cats. :(
You know, Beth, I would probably have said something regardless!! But I don't blame you - you don't see your parents that often and really, it is not as if anything you said would make a difference! People SUCK - big time - that poor baby- at least they should try finding him an indoor home - he will NOT do well in a barn environment!! He will be beat up, neglected, scared and confused!! I have no issue with feral cats (i.e. on catch and spay and release programs) going to barns- it is actually a great solution for all concerned but NOT sweet, spoiled indoor cat!
and I know exactly how you feel about people you once thought different; I had a gf for 20 years, emotionally unstable somewhat, a bit of a drama queen, needy BUT functioning - I put up with just about everything from her and supported her and forgave her UNTIL she got a kitten... a sweet little black kitten (against my advice as I KNOW what she is like, fickle, changeable and inclined to making choices she never follows through on). I spoke to my long-suffering husband who when he heard she had a new kitten, said resignedly, well, guess we'll have another cat soon! (we had 4 cats and 2 dogs at the time) -sure enough 6 weeks later she decided this innocent sweet little boy was 'evil' and had to get rid of it- I IMMEDIATELY said when she told me this, I'll take him, I'll pick him up tomorrow afternoon... but she went ahead and dumped him in a high kill shelter and wouldn't tell me where. That was it for me - I did not and will not ever forgive her for that taht - that little animal had a chance at a real home - but while she is unstable, she is functoning and the reason she chose NOT to give him to me was that she visited a lot and would see that her "evil" unbalanced kitten was actually jut a normal loving little feline and she would feel RESPONSIBLE. I didn't talk to her for three years - we are back in touch becuase I'm a soft touch and rescued her from a situation BUT I will never ever have the same measure of feeling twoard her ever again.
You know, Beth, I would probably have said something regardless!! But I don't blame you - you don't see your parents that often and really, it is not as if anything you said would make a difference! People SUCK - big time - that poor baby- at least they should try finding him an indoor home - he will NOT do well in a barn environment!! He will be beat up, neglected, scared and confused!! I have no issue with feral cats (i.e. on catch and spay and release programs) going to barns- it is actually a great solution for all concerned but NOT sweet, spoiled indoor cat!
and I know exactly how you feel about people you once thought different; I had a gf for 20 years, emotionally unstable somewhat, a bit of a drama queen, needy BUT functioning - I put up with just about everything from her and supported her and forgave her UNTIL she got a kitten... a sweet little black kitten (against my advice as I KNOW what she is like, fickle, changeable and inclined to making choices she never follows through on). I spoke to my long-suffering husband who when he heard she had a new kitten, said resignedly, well, guess we'll have another cat soon! (we had 4 cats and 2 dogs at the time) -sure enough 6 weeks later she decided this innocent sweet little boy was 'evil' and had to get rid of it- I IMMEDIATELY said when she told me this, I'll take him, I'll pick him up tomorrow afternoon... but she went ahead and dumped him in a high kill shelter and wouldn't tell me where. That was it for me - I did not and will not ever forgive her for that taht - that little animal had a chance at a real home - but while she is unstable, she is functoning and the reason she chose NOT to give him to me was that she visited a lot and would see that her "evil" unbalanced kitten was actually jut a normal loving little feline and she would feel RESPONSIBLE. I didn't talk to her for three years - we are back in touch becuase I'm a soft touch and rescued her from a situation BUT I will never ever have the same measure of feeling twoard her ever again.
Selkie: Thank you for the share! I'm glad you understand. It's kind of funny, but I thought: "I get tired of bailing out friends and family on their poor decisions with their pets." Then I realized..."That's what I *do*!"
I'm really hoping that the "farm" is an indoor home. He may not be an outdoor cat - I'll have to ask to be sure.
That is terrible! Another blog I read just took in a 10 year old giant breed dog that had been dumped by it's owners.
How do you love something for a decade then just walk away?
I also find it harder to maintain friendships with people who have animals but aren't as crazy about them as I am mine. Although I do have friends who have no animals and consider me the crazy dog lady. LOL
I grew up a farm, and I can tell you first-hand that barn cat life is pure hell.
I also always understood that "going to the farm" was a euphemism for euthenasia... :(
If it not an indoor home explain to them what a miserable exhistance he is in for...for the few weeks he'll probably survive. I can't even think let alone talk about this, I'm just to upset.
So they can't meet his needs but a farm can? Yeah, something's not adding up here.
Alyssa: Uh huh...my sentiments exactly.
I wonder if he has an UTI and started to pee outside of the litter box. In which case he needs to see a vet.
How sad would that be if all he needs is some medical attention to "have his needs met". Sadly he's not going to get that on the farm either.
BeckyH
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