Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Self Control (Profanity Alert)

I always end up talking about the staff at the shelter who work with the cats. They're the folks that clean, feed and often end up watching them die. But I don't think I've ever really talked about the women who work at the front desk.

The ladies that sit at the front desk represent the shelter. They are the first people that the public sees when they walk through the door. They do pet licencing, take lost/found pet reports, and listen to the shit ridiculous excuses why people want to dump their pets at the shelter. How do they censor themselves? I'd either end up biting off my tongue or get fired. I can't imagine the stories that they hear.

I have an ongoing fantasy about working at that desk....what I would say...what I would do...(Profanity alert!)

Mr. Joe Public: Yeah...I want to give up my cat because I'm moving and they don't allow pets in my new apartment.

Me: Let me get this straight: You're moving into a NO Pets apartment when you HAVE a pet?

Mr. Joe Public: If you have a problem with taking him, I'll just leave him outside when I move.

Me: Fuck you. I'll take the cat home with me.

Next Scenario:

Mrs. Jane Public: My roommate has allergies, so I have to get rid of the cat.

Me: Can't you get a new roommate? That's easier than dumping your poor cat. Believe me - he's a better friend than your roommate who's allowing you to abandoned the cat here.

Mrs. Jane Public: If you have a problem taking him, I'll just have to leave him outside.

Me: Fuck you. I'll take the cat home with me.

Next Scenario:

Mr. Joe Student: My cat is pee'ing all over the place and I can't keep him anymore.

Me: (inspecting the cat) Get him neutered and he'll stop spraying, Einstein.

Mr. Joe Student: I don't want to cut off his balls. That's not right!

Me: Fuck you, Einstein. I'll take the cat home with me. (and get him neutered)

Are you seeing a pattern yet?

I talk a big game, but over the years I've surprised myself with the amount of self control that I have. I really believe this blog helps me vent so that I'm not completely insane with people. I remember at an adoption event when a woman came up to me asking if we had any male cats that were NOT neutered because she wants her female cat to "fulfill herself and have a litter of kittens." If I could control myself after that statement, I'm a frickin' goddess of self control!

On another note.....

Kim called today and said that this little guy on the left was marked for euthanasia tomorrow. I had really loved this 13 week old baby boy the moment I saw him and cradled him like a baby all around the shelter last week. Now he's sneezing and getting an upper respiratory infection. He had been sentenced to death.

"Zach" was taken off the euthanasia list at my request. I'll have to figure out *something* for him. If anybody can help Zach, you know where to find me.

Maybe I don't have as much self control as I thought.


Anonymous said...

Hey Beth, Can you suggest to the shelter head honcho that they use the licensing money to provide spay and neuter services like the city of Calgary does. They put down only 145 cats last year compared to Toronto's thousands and definitely Hamilton would have put down way more. Isn't Hamilton smaller than Calgary? Hmmm makes ya think eh. Caroline PS Glad you got the little orange dude off the list! Did the new mom and babies make it?

Anonymous said...

Hi Beth

One more suggestion, has Kim thought of doubling up some of the babies? Laynee, Zack and Ernie are young and could share a cage, so could Joanie and Bubbles. That would free up 3 cages.


House of the Discarded said...

Caroline: It was already done. :(

Anonymous said...

Oh Beth you have a much better inner voice than I do! When the lady would have asked me for a male cat to fulfill her female cat I would have said yes....on the condition that the lady get her tubes tied! Or the young guy get a vasectomy!

House of the Discarded said...

Karin: I wish I had thought of that!


Anonymous said...

Okay your "Self Control" blog totally cracks me up. Yes there is a lot of swearing but sometimes you just need to vent and say it like it is. At least you gave a "Profanity Alert". No need to feel guilty about it. I would have said a lot worse :)