Being a Hero To One Cat

I didn't really feel like writing tonight. I've had so much on my mind lately, that my brain feels really muddled with crap and a lack of organized thoughts. Sometimes writing them here helps me clear my head - or sometimes I just type a load of nonsense that nobody can understand. :)

Tomorrow I'm bringing a new foster Mom to the shelter with me. With great trepidation she agreed to come with me. I never want anyone to feel like I'm twisting their arm, but I really do believe that anyone that fosters a cat needs to go to the shelter at least once.

When I deliver a cat to someone's home it really sanitizes things. That's OK for some people. They want to help and prefer to not see the inside of the shelter. I get that. Really!

I'm looking forward to seeing what cat our new foster Mom ends up rescuing tomorrow. I know she's scared to go. I won't let her walk out with 10 cats even though she'll want to take 10. Tomorrow - she can be a hero to one cat. I'll have to write tomorrow to let you know who the lucky one is. Whomever she chooses has to get along with her current brood. She sounds like such a nice girl and really wants to help.

Earlier today I spoke with a very nice lady who was interested in "Bosco" at the shelter. Unfortunately, she decided to adopt directly through our rescue rather than the shelter. That's ok......because the already rescued cat needs a home too. But he's safe. Bosco isn't. I really want to help this guy, and I'm not so sure he's a good fit for our new foster Mom. I'll certainly introduce him to her.

Bosco is BEYOND cute and only a year old. He doesn't know how close he came to having a forever home, nor does he know how close he's coming to dying.

I can feel his pendulum swinging and it's not good news for Bosco. I hope I can save him.

"Monday" is a Rescue Day

Tomorrow should be a wonderful rescue day. David has the day off and we're going out to the shelter together tomorrow. I don't know why it's this way, but whenever David comes with me, I always end up crying before I leave the shelter! EVERYTIME! Last time he came with me, I dissolved in his arms crying. I'm surprised that he still wants to go with me. Hahahaa :) David is awesome at the shelter and is my *rock*. We have quite a bit of fun in the car, and argue about the music, heat and potty stops. I hope we're still speaking at the end of the day. :)

I've been organizing this rescue all day today. The cats are going anywhere from Kitchener/Waterloo, to Scarborough and Thornhill. It's going to be crazy.

Here are a couple of cute faces that are spending their last night at the shelter. Tomorrow, they'll be in a loving foster home and no doubt being spoiled rotten.

I think I'm rescuing about 10 cats tomorrow. You'd think after spending the majority of the day on this particular rescue, I'd know exactly how many I'm getting. I know what this means - it means that I'm not going to get out of there without crying tomorrow. It means that I'm going to bring an extra cat carrier "by accident" ...."just in case" I want to rescue somebody extra. "OOps....he wan't on the list?"

I'm not sure I can leave these guys behind: (They weren't on the list)

Can you blame me? Seriously...aren't these a couple of sweet faces? I can't imagine them not being in this world and part of somebody's life. They deserve to have a life and to be loved.

Somebody stop me.

"Kitten Season"....Already?

I had to search in the archives of my blog to find out when I announced "kitten season" last year. I was really sure this year's kitten season seemed to arrive very early. Ironically, that's EXACTLY what I said last year at this time: KITTENS .

This is the time of year where I start to panic about all the older cats that will be overlooked by "kitten hungry" rescues. You know those type of rescues - they take all the pretty kittens and and leave the older cats to die. Shame on them.
There's already quite a few Moms with their babies at the shelter. These are really sweet Mom cats....not feral wild cats. Somebody loved these Mama cats and obviously dumped them at the shelter when they got pregnant. I get so angry with this kind of PREVENTABLE situation that I could scream.

I'm sure when these dimwits drop off their cats and babies at the shelter they think the shelter will find good homes for them. WRONG. When the shelter becomes overcrowded, they'll kill the Mom and the kittens. It's a better death than being dumped by the roadside to become coyote food.

I'd love to be able to announce kitten season in July...or August..but here we are, March 27th, and the pregnant Moms, kittens, and Moms with kittens are coming in...often being delivered by the people who vowed to love them forever. (But not enough to get them spayed or neutered)

They euthanized a lot of cats this morning at the shelter. They had to. The staff had to make room for the enormous numbers of kittens that are coming into the shelter every day.

All these pictures are taken of cats that are currently in the shelter that I rescue from. They will die if we don't step forward to help them. There are so many...

...and so the cycle begins.

The Word That Changed "Clawdina" Forever

"Clawdina" is a tiny black persian girl that had arrived at the shelter "spittin' and kickin'". Nobody particularly liked Clawdina at the shelter because cleaning her cage and feeding her always resulted in her trying to bolt out of her cage which usually erupted into a fight to get her back. The poor thing had a big CAUTION sign on her cage.

The last time she got out of her cage, she had to be "netted" and it was a mess. She was 3 lbs of "pissed off". "Clawdina's" time was up and she was marked for euthanasia.

When Linda contacted us, she said she had been looking for a Persian cat for a long time, but only wanted a rescue. I'm always suspicious of people looking for purebreds. Don't ask me why - maybe it's because they ARE purebreds and the mixed-breeds need homes too. Clawdina may have been a purebred cat...but she was a purebred scary cat.

Linda felt very strongly that Clawdina was her baby....she was "the one"...and after a lengthy phone interview I felt that Linda could handle Little Miss Diva Clawdina. She had been warned!

I let Kim put Clawdina in her crate at the shelter. I didn't want to be scratched or bitten...let the expert deal with her, right? Clawdina and I proceeded to head down the highway to meet her new Mommy. Linda lives in Barrie, so we were both driving 1 hour and meeting someplace off the highway. I found a McDonald's and pulled in to let Linda know where I was...

Clawdina was looking at me through her crate in the front seat. I started coo'ing to her and I could see her face soften. She shuffled to the front of the cage and I was inspired to open the crate and pet her. She surprised me when she nuzzled my hand, and I surprised myself when I let her out of the crate and to sit on my chest in the car.

Clawdina's stretched lazily and started to purr. She sniffed my face and I stiffened warily. Clawdina started to nuzzle into my neck happily. The poor girl had a slight upper respiratory infection from the shelter, so her eyes were runny and she was blowing snot bubbles into my neck. I didn't care. She was purring!!

Clawdina knew she was safe. **Safe** That word changed this cat forever. When Linda showed up, I happily held up Clawdina - snot and all - and Linda started to cry. She scooped up Clawdina and showered her in kisses. Clawdina reciprocated with kitty kisses of her own.

I could feel the goosebumps on my arms. This was a special moment indeed.

Once upon a time, there were two silly women in a McDonald's parking lot crying with happiness. They held a 3 lb fluffy black cat that somebody tossed away like yesterday's garbage and left to die...a cat that everybody thought was nasty and evil. They chuckled at the mere thought that this sweet girl could be anything but angelic. They wiped the kitty kisses from their cheeks and took the cat home to love her forever.

And they lived happily ever after....

Tears...and Laughter....and More Laughter

I expected it to be a rough "day-before-euthanasia day" at the shelter when I went in today. The shelter was very full and I knew that many cats would be "Marked" for tomorrow. It's a day like today where I feel like I'm playing God. I don't like playing God. It doesn't look good on me. I walked up and down the rows of cats and only able to take 7 cats. It hurts when I can't take more.

It was another big driving day too. Kathleen met me at the shelter and took four of the cats to the local vet to be neutered, and I drove an hour to Scarborough to take the rest to another vet. I stopped briefly to bring "Digit" to his new home.

I opened the crate and an excited new Mom waited expectantly for him to emerge. Digit promptly ran under her bed. "Ta-Da!" That was an anti-climatic moment. Oh well....he'll come out and she'll enjoy him - eventually :)

I paid my 20 year old son to do the evening "deliveries" for me. I had to laugh, because the phone rang about 10 minutes into his drive. He had 2 cats in the car and I could hear this wooshing sound of the windows being open on the highway. I could hear my son's voice, "Mom! *Somebody* took a crap in their carrier. (more gasping) Seriously, Mom - this is the worst smell I've ever smelled in my life!"

Me: *Hysterical laughter*

Son: MOM! Quit laughing! I've got my head out the window...I bet there's crap everywhere! What do I do? What do I do!??!!!

Me: **Wiping the tears from my face .... more laughter***

Son: OK...I've pulled over...OMG, Mom...you're not paying me enough for this. There are 4 perfectly formed "tootsie rolls" in the crate. How could THAT smell so bad?? ((more coughing...gasping..)) By the way...who named this poor cat PICKLES??!!!

The laughter felt sooooo good. I could tell he was having a great time playing "stork". He said that everybody was very happy with their "special deliveries" and he seemed very happy to be part of it.

Like mother, like son, I guess :)

A Little Bit of Joy

It's a pretty exciting day for me. I'm doing a rescue today and not lifting a finger to do it. Yes, friends - I have a driver doing ALL the work today! Brenda is an awesome volunteer and has been helping the cats at the shelter by posting the most urgent on Craigslist. She sends the inquiries to me for screening - that's one of the reasons I've been so busy. Today....Brenda is doing the rescue/delivery run.

I had to laugh because I sent Brenda an e-mail with all the things she'll need to bring for the rescue - including paper towels, because "you won't want to deliver a cat that has poop all over him." Her answer: "Yes Beth, I read your blogs" Hahahhaa! Love it.

This is Brenda's first rescue/delivery, so I'll be worried until I hear from her.

Speaking of worry, I hadn't mentioned this in previous posts, but originally things didn't go very well with "Steve" and his new cat-brother "Paul". (hahah...I love human names for cats) I was very worried that Steve would be returned. He sounded very stressed. Yesterday, I received the following picture from Steve's new Mommy:

Crisis averted! (I feel like that's become my middle name...Beth "Crisis Averted" Turner) But don't they look cute? The couple brought Paul all the way from Japan when they moved back to Canada. I love people who don't dump their cats when they move.

Monday is looking to be a rather large rescue day. I'm rescuing all the cats that need a spay or neuter before placing into their foster homes - the ones that Brenda couldn't rescue today. Some Most days I need a score card.

I haven't posted about my latest little foster named "Dimitri" yet. He's a little character, a little lover and I adore him already. He's about 6 months old, and my Thomas has been trying to get him to "party" and Dimitri seems a little intimidated. He's a mouthy little thing and meow's LOUDLY whenever I pick him up. Of course, he purrs immediately. :)

The past few days have been filled with joy and the hope of Spring's arrival. Just for today, I won't think about the pregnant Mom's and kittens that will arrive soon in the shelter. There will be too many to rescue.

Just for today....I choose to be happy for "Steve" in his forever home, Brenda's help with the rescue today, and a very cute "Dimitri" that needs lots of love.

Just for today, I'm going to pretend that's all I need to think about.

An "Awwwww" Moment

I've been in a bit of "recovery mode" since the last rescue. It's been nice to catch up on laundry, phone calls, and emails. I actually emptied the dishwasher and loaded it with breakfast dishes BEFORE 5 pm! I'm planning another rescue tomorrow, so am organizing for that one too. No rest for the weary...

I received a very cute e-mail and picture that I just HAD to share it here. Dave is one of our new foster Dad's. He rescued Elliott last month and felt that Elliott had been lonely without a friend. So I rescued "Mike" to keep "Elliott" company. I always worry about this kind of thing, because some times it can backfire badly. When the e-mail came in, I held my breath while I read it:

Hey Beth, thought I'd send you another update.. I let Mike out to meet
Elliott on Saturday (Elliott obviously wanted to meet him - he was
crying outside the bathroom door at night, and I needed to start
getting sleep again). I was a bit nervous about having them meet,
particularly if Elliott would be too dominant - he's at least twice
the size of Mike. Fortunately things went quite well, and I felt
comfortable enough leaving them together when I headed out to the
store. When I returned, Elliott didn't greet me at the door so I
thought something was wrong and immediately set off to find out what
horrible incident had occurred - instead I found them curled up
together (see the attached photo). They've been getting along
wonderfully ever since - they eat together, play together, and are
almost always in the same room - they even groom each other (although
Elliott is still learning that Mike prefers to groom his own stomach).
Mike is a really sweet little guy - I can't imagine how anyone could
have decided they didn't want him anymore.

I can't imagine anyone not wanting either one of them. Bless their little hearts.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends...

I'm a deliriously tired girl tonight. I knew today would be a big rescue day, but nothing prepared me for rescuing 14 deserving, sweet souls from death row. I only had 8 cats on my list for rescue, but ended up meeting more foster homes at the shelter than I anticipated. Of course, once you're there - it's hard to leave with just one. (Me included!)

Gratefully, I had lots of help today. Diana who recently adopted Mitzi came along and helped me with the loading and unloading of cats. She was my navigator and dutifully listened to my complaints. Lordie...Lordie...was I grateful for the help AND the company.

Kathleen showed up today to play "cat taxi" and took 3 of the cats to a local vet for me so I didn't have to stop on my way to vet #2. Sometimes all the stopping, starting, and in/out of the car is what makes me so exhausted!

Three other foster Moms showed up - 2 whom had never been in the shelter - to choose their foster cats. It's always very overwhelming the first time you see all these darling cats in cages knowing that you might be their only hope. Everybody left with one more than they intended to leave with. Who can blame them?

Diana and I spent a lot of time on the road today. We were hungry, undercaffeinated, and happily tired. We delivered the remaining cats to vet#2, and took one more sweet cat directly to her foster home about 30 minutes away.

There were two "cat taxis" set up to pick up the cats from vet #2 after their spays/neuters this afternoon to drive them in their new foster homes. (Some of them were adopted directly from the shelter. Yay!) It's really amazing that 7 volunteers (not including Kim at the shelter or the vets) were directly responsible for bringing these cats to loving homes.

The back of my little sports car was loaded with 6 cats. Of course, "Iggy" pooped and barfed before we had even gotten on the highway. *sigh*

The BEST part of my day was sitting on the phone tonight to call some of the foster homes to see if their new house guests arrived safely. The first call was to the lady that is fostering "Erin". "Erin" had a huge CAUTION sign on her cage. Somebody thought she wasn't a very nice cat. She sure was sweet when I rescued her. I called the foster Mom tonight and the foster Mom said that Erin was following her around like a little dog. :) You can see Erin in the picture above - she's in the hot pink cat carrier. (Trying to look scary. LOL!)

All the cats were settled into their foster homes and in the process of being loved. I couldn't have pulled off this larger rescue without the help of my friends and volunteers. Tonight, my gas tank is almost empty and my heart is really full.

I still left many, many cats behind. I want to go back in a few days. Some of their faces are still haunting me tonight.

Good Bye to "Steve" :)

I'm finding myself fosterless once again. "Steve" was adopted by a very nice couple (and their Abysinnian cat "Paolo") this afternoon.

This was one of the rare cases where I drove a foster cat to his new home. The couple didn't drive and I really liked them. Last time I did this, I drove my beloved little "Ducky" to a couple's house a few years ago and I left in tears. I felt like crying a few times, but I managed to keep my composure.

Their cat "Paolo" was a little doll and wanted SO BADLY to make friends with Steve. Steve kept hissing at him while he explored their lovely apartment. Poor Paolo even went as far as to "belly up" to Steve!

Sometimes I think we expect too much of these cats. Steve had been at my house for almost a month(?) and we pluck him from his foster home to place in him an apartment he's never seen before with people he's never seen AND with a 10 month old "new brother" and we expect them to bounce into some semblance of normalcy. I think Steve will be fine. He's a snuggly little social boy who will find his way into their hearts. No doubt about it.

The hard part about doing an adoption in someone else's home is that you have to actually walk out the door and leave your beloved foster cat looking frightened. I hate that I didn't kiss Steve goodbye because I was afraid I'd cry in front of these people. I couldn't even look at him as I walked out the door.

Maybe it was for the best. But the best for whom? Sorry for the macabre downer tonight. If you're considering fostering for the first time and are reading this - don't let what I say deter you from stepping up. Monday, I'm heading back to the shelter and doing this all over again. I wouldn't change anything. If I hadn't rescued Steve, he would've been euthanized alone at the shelter and thrown into a freezer.

So I got hurt. Boo frickity hoo. I'll be fine. Steve will live a wonderful life being loved by an awesome family because like many people, I stepped up and said, "I might get hurt, but if I don't help, who else will do it."

Call me. E-mail me. I'm going to the shelter on Monday and Tuesday is a "euthanasia day". I bet there's another "Steve" waiting for you too. This is the little fella I'd like to save on Monday:
Hang in there buddy - I'll be there on Monday for you!

A Curse to the Stupid

I've been meaning to write about something that happened to me at the shelter last week. I've had a lot of trouble putting it out of my mind. Maybe writing it here will help.

Unfortunately, I do have to encounter people dropping off their pets or strays while I'm at the shelter. Most of the time, I can't shut my big yapper and actually end up having a conversation with these people. Last week an older couple came in with a very very frightened cat in a humane animal trap. She was obviously very pregnant and she looked feral. I gave the couple a "sad face" and they immediately became very defensive:

Them: This ain't my cat.

Me: You know they're going to euthanize her and she's obviously pregnant.

Them: So? She keeps gettin' in mah garden. (Louder) This AIN'T my cat!!!!

Me: Is there a place you can keep her in a barn or something so she can have her babies? I'll help you with the kittens and we'll get Mom spayed.

Them: We got 15 of 'em runnin' around. I thought 'bout puttin' out poison.

I turned and walked away. If I get into a shit-fest with people like this in the Animal Control lobby it could ruin my relationship with the shelter and I could be banned from rescuing there.

The poor cat was taken to the back and just before they could put her in the cage, she bolted under the bank of cages. It took Kim and another worker from the shelter about 10 minutes to get her. They had nets and were moving quickly, but cautiously. Feral cats can be very dangerous. It broke my heart. She was terrified. This is "Gwynneth" the day she arrived at the shelter:

A few days later, I went back to the shelter to do a rescue and Kim said that Gwynnth wasn't feral at all...she was really sweet and very very frightened. She gave birth the next morning:

Imagine giving birth in the shelter. I'm a Mom, and my idea of an uncomfortable birth is when my epidural didn't work fast enough.

You can imagine that I'm very motivated to help this Mom and 5 babies. I'm getting pissed off all over again over those stupid, ignorant people that left her there because she was getting into their garden.

I hope their tomatoes and cucumbers all turn up rotten this year.

An Update on "Samantha"

On August 2008, I posted about a pathetic little cat named Samantha. To be perfectly honest, I nicked named her "Cha-Ching", because I knew she would cost us a fortune at the vet. But her foster mom Jen, felt very passionate about rescuing her despite me wondering if (a then pregnant) Jen had lost her hormonal mind.

If you haven't read The Samantha Chronicals, I really encourage you to click on the link so you can fully experience what this little girl had gone through.

This was Samantha's shelter picture. It's still hard for me to look at this picture....maybe because I get the heebie-jeebies over fleas and skin creepin' crud. But this isn't really about where Samantha has been....it's where she is NOW....

These pictures were sent to me today via a forward from Jen. For those of you who think fostering isn't for you - please look carefully at what love can really do. A letter came with the pictures from Samantha's new family. I thought about posting the letter, but there's really nothing that these people can say to detract from these incredible pictures.

But really....doesn't a picture speak a thousand words?

Samantha didn't die alone in the shelter. She is having a wonderful life thanks to her foster Mom that cared enough to step forward to give this girl a chance.

I'm going back to the shelter tomorrow for another rescue, thanks to more volunteers who have offered to step forward to save a life.

Another Reason to Believe in Happy Endings..

This is Mitzi. She was surrended at the shelter by her owner a few days after she was spayed and had a painful declaw surgery. (She still had her stitches!)

Why was Mitzi surrendered? Because she bit the owner's mother. Gee. Think Mitzi might have been in some pain following the removal of her uterus and amputation of her toes?

Where is the compassion? Where is the understanding and love for this little girl? I'm incredulous that anyone could be so selfish and uncaring. Karma. Right now, I want to believe in Karma. I wish I could know "What comes around...goes around" for people like this.

Fortunately for this sweet 1 year old little darlin' , I had the privilege of rescuing her today and taking her to my favourite adopter's home. I still had 3 other cats to deliver to various locations, so I couldn't stay and watch Mitzi come out of her carrier. But I did receive the following e-mail when I got home this afternoon:

Oh Beth, I am being showered with kisses galore from this sweet little angel that you have brought me today. She has eaten and had some water and gets so excited when I walk into the room. She is so tiny that I am afraid to pick her up for fear of hurting her. I don't understand how anyone could part with this precious little girl who wants nothing but to love you and be loved in return. I am very grateful to you for rescuing her from the shelter and please know that she will be very loved and well cared for as long as I live. I can't wait to let her out to meet the others and I feel very positive that all will be well.

Thank you for giving me another reason to believe in happy endings.

One Little Life at a Time

A lovely young woman contacted me about a month ago regarding adopting "Penny" from the shelter. As I've posted before, this shelter does not have an adoption program, so I meet qualified adopters at the shelter for a "meet and greet".

Penny certainly wasn't the friendliest cat in the shelter. In fact, she was sick and sat in the back of her cage. My heart sunk when I saw her and I was sure Kristin wouldn't want to take Penny home. To be honest - I wouldn't blame her. Penny had given up on life. She wanted to die.

Kristin never hesitated. She scooped up Penny and knew that she was "the one". I don't know how she knew..but she knew.

We heard that Penny's new name is "Kota" and an e-mail came in a few days after her rescue: ...."she's GORGEOUS? I cleaned her up and brushed her and I think she just feels like a million bucks now. She still likes to relax and rest off by herself (like under the beds) so I let her be.... she always comes out when she wants to "hang out" and socialize, and she's a bundle of purrs and LOVES to get attention. My boyfriend, who has always said he didn't like cats and only agreed to get one to make me happy...I have caught him snuggling her and today he brought home a buffet of (MORE) cat suppies. I think she stole his heart too!! You were right, she is a TOTAL sweetheart and is so perfect for us.

The story keeps getting better and better for Kota when I received the following video yesterday:

One little life at a time....

"Cameron"

It's such a blessing to speak with excited new volunteers. Every time I speak with someone who wants to help, it forces me to get out of my "ho-hum self" and reinstates why I love doing cat rescue. Sometimes I find myself getting excited all over again.

I was speaking with a new foster Mom named Cheryl. Cheryl wanted to rescue a cute orange and white guy named Mario. She and her family were SO excited to help Mario and perhaps even add him as a permanent member of their home. She was disheartened to find out that Mario had already been taken by the local SPCA. (Sometimes they take cats on death row too). I could hear the disappointment in her voice and I panicked that perhaps she wouldn't want to take any cat.

So I told her about "Cameron":

I had primed her that Cameron didn't take a very good shelter picture, but he really needed help. (Mario had looked like he was posing for the camera...) I held my breath and sent her the picture in email. Her response came back quickly: "Just want to say I thought I would see a very scary picture....he is darling....my son agrees! Can't wait to bring him home tomorrow. Thanks Beth!" HALLELUJA! Cameron had a home!

Of course, I started to cry when Cheryl told me that she picked him up from the vets, he was home with her and safe after his neuter. He was a little "loopy" from his surgery, but they loved him already. She sent me a picture an hour later:

He was wrapped up and tucked in on her bed. Isn't that the sweetest thing? I wish all cats could be tucked in bed at night.

I'm doing another rescue tomorrow and have a ton of driving to do. (See CAT TAXI ) It's going to be a long day, but I get to play "Stork". It's David's birthday tomorrow, so I'm hoping that there's something left of me to enjoy the evening birthday hoopla.

It's going to be nice to go to bed tonight thinking that there's one more cat that gets to sleep in a warm, safe bed. Sleep well, Cameron.

A Personal Journey

The grief process after losing a beloved pet is a personal journey. I thought it might be healing for me to be at the shelter doing a rescue today, but instead I found myself overwhelmed with sadness. It really caught me off guard. I managed to pull myself together despite it all and rescued two really sweet and worthy kitties:

Jazz was brought into the shelter already spayed and declawed. Her new Mommy adopted her sight unseen and I drove Jazz into the city and was happy to play Stork once again. Jazz walked out of her crate and acted like she lived there forever. I wish I had my camera with me.

I also rescued a big boy named Ramsis. (I'll post a picture later) Ramsis is currently at "Chez Turner" in my guest room. He'll be here through his quarantine period. He must weigh at least 20 lbs! He's huge and just a big, sweet, orange teddy bear. I love these snuggly big boys! He has a sad story to tell. It's one of those stories that make me want to hunt down the owners. *ugh*

My Buckley was adopted about 30 minutes ago! I knew he'd be adopted as soon as I put him on the website. The family was in love the moment they saw him. Who wouldn't be? :) He was as sweet as apple pie.

As I'm rereading this post my lack of enthusiasm seems rather apparent to me. Maybe it's all part of the grief process.

I wanted to thank everyone who took the time to write me through this blog or through e-mail to show their respect for the loss of "Bob". Although it hurts and probably will for quite some time, it's always wonderful to know that I'm in good company with my grief. Your thoughts, kindness and friendship will get me through this.