It was surreal to authorize the euthanasia of a darling kitten at the same moment I'm at Petsmart and working with two adopters. I sat in the adoption centre and wanted to cry. The excitement emanating from the loving new "parents" with their kittens kept me momentarily in "Yay-you're-adopting-the-cutest-kitten!" mode.
I excused myself from the adopters to speak with the exasperated veterinarian. She had taken the sick kitten home with her the night before....just to hold her and watch her. How often does that happen? Not very. I was grateful that the kitten was held and loved instead of left in the vet's cage. The poor wee baby failed so quickly.
Then comes the call that I always dread...the foster parent. This foster parent has been through this shit before. She's been fostering for years and sadly isn't a stranger to sick kittens that die. I was hoping that her voicemail would pick up, but I know better. This foster parent would be on pins and needles until she heard about her kitten and the phone was answered on the first ring. It doesn't make it any easier anyway - believe me. I always say the same useless things. Blah, I'm so sorry, Blah, At least we tried, Blah...
I hate that call. Calling a foster parent at work. "I'm sorry, but she didn't make it."
But in this case there was yet ANOTHER call that had to be made with regard to this kitten: She had an adopter waiting to meet her. A young woman who fell in love with a kitten's picture. I had to tell her that her beloved kitten - that she hadn't met yet - was now gone.
To make matters worse, I've played phone tag for 24 hours with the adopter. Each missed message she sounds more and more excited about meeting her new BFF.
It must be kitten season, because my heart is either broken or soaring high above the clouds. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground during kitten season. I'm not alone. There are a bunch of us out there struggling with "The Rescue Emotional Rollercoaster". Sometimes I think I'm the first in line and keep going on the damn thing even though I'm throwing up.